WITHOUT A DOUBT

There is without a doubt some things that I need to get off my chest and my heart and mind. I feel so overwhelmed that I can hardly breathe. I know I have held onto many frustrations and worries. I am not intentionally trying to hold on to them, nor do I wish to have them in my life. I just cannot seem to let go of them and I guess, give them completely over to God. I feel like I have, but if I truly have, I am not sure why they continue to return. Unless...it is like Paul and THIS is the thorn in my flesh. If this allows me to draw nearer to the Lord, I pray it stays. But I feel like this is not drawing me near to him but instead distracting me away from Him.

Why? Why do I have these things going on in my life. I just want to be free to live a life honoring the Lord without all the worldly JUNK always on my mind or in my face. Lord, I pray for answers. I need you and need your help. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally...I feel like I am a wreck. Please lead me to someone that I can talk with and get some of these suppressed feelings out of my life. 

I know that many things come from my childhood. I felt like I had an amazing childhood. However, there were some parts of it, especially the burdens from school, that caused me to struggle and struggle bad at times. 

Lead me to someone that I can talk to and share these things, Lord. I pray for someone that will help me see the truth about what I might be suppressing and free me of those things. My heart is to truly follow You. I desire to be a man of God, a husband that my wife loves and is attracted to and has confidence in, I desire to be a Dad to my children that they have everything as a Dad I should be giving them, a son and brother, a friend, a pastor. I pray for Your guiding hands to be upon me.