Seeking the Lord for a Miracle

Yesterday, I began a week long fast. My wife and I and the wife of the man we are praying for began this fast in efforts to tune draw nearer to the Lord as we earnestly seek Him and pray for the salvation of a man I'll call K. K doesn't know Jesus as his Lord and Savior and K is lost and has so many things in his life that keep him busy. 

Lord Jesus, I pray for the soul of K. I pray for his heart to be softened and for a reality check to come into his life. Place a situation in his life that might cause him to look at eternity and put things into proper perspective for him. I pray for his heart to be broken over the sin in his life and for Your Word and truth to cause him to fall to his knees and seek You for forgiveness. I pray for him to become the man that you created him to be. I pray for him to not only come to know you, but to fall in love with you and to on fire with sharing you with his family and friends. I pray that he becomes the leader of the home and leads his wife and children to know You more. 

I know Lord, that apart from you this will never happen. I know that his wife, nor myself and my wife, have the power to save him. Your Word tells us to seek you first, to seek you with all of our hearts, and so we are doing that. We have given up food during the daylight hours so that we might be drawn to pray and sacrifice those things for his salvation. We pray for him to let go of hurts and bad habits and to let you reign in his life. I pray for him to completely surrender to you. Use me or my wife in any way. Help me to humble myself before You and give all of my baggage to You as well. Lord, you know my heart. Forgive me of my fleshly, selfish ways. Lead me in the way You would have me go. 

In Jesus name...AMEN! 

True Prayer

 So today I have a true, genuine prayer that I have been praying for many years now. Maybe God's answer to this is no. Maybe it is not right now or maybe I have not been serious enough and truly crying out to Him. 

I pray for a specific temptation and sin of the mind to be gone. I pray with all of my heart for this to be taken from me and that I would truly be able to say that it is not an issue in my life any longer. This one particular sin causes me so much shame and guilt when I let my mind run away from me. It distracts me, it blinds me to reality, it puts me into a lazy, bad mood, it is disgusting and evil. I feel as though I am being fired at with flaming arrows. I feel that the times when things are going well, it's just a matter of time before this ugly evil comes knocking on my mind again. Lord, PLEASE, free me from this evil temptation. I desire to honor you with my life and I desire for you to be my #1 always. My flesh is weak and probably displays that other things are above You, but I do not mean for that to happen. All I want is You Lord. 

I long and yearn for the day when I get to be in your presence. Away from all this evil and heartache. Away from sin and pain and guilt. But Lord, I have so many family members and friends that do not know you yet. I pray that I can be a light in their dark lives and that they might see you in me. Forgive me where I fail you. Forgive me when my flesh is selfish. Help me to be consistent in my walk with you. Help me to always see the ways out of temptations and evil paths. 

I also desire for my family to be in the best shape financially than we ever have. I pray that we can learn to manage the money you give us so well that we have savings, we have extra to be able to help and serve others. I desire to be out of debt, to have our own home that is big enough to have people over and many fellowships. I pray for us to make wise and better decision with the money that You bless us with each month. 

Thank you Father for hearing me! Lead me, direct me, guide me to be the man You created me to be. Help me to say NO to ungodliness and worldly desire. Teach me to walk in Your truth!! 

DISTRACTED

 Have you ever felt like you are extremely distracted by the world? Have you ever felt like you wake up and live the day only to go home and go to bed for the next day? There are so many times that I wake up and begin the day and end it thinking, "what did I actually do for the Kingdom today?"

It is SO easy to get distracted by worldly things and be drawn into the busyness that, many times, has zero eternal value. I don't desire to fall into those days or into those traps of the enemy. Traps that cause me to feel disappointed in my actions or lack of motivation or service for the Lord. Traps that lead to regret or shame or frustration. 

Lord, help me to honor you with my life each new day that you give me life. I pray for my heart AND mind to be sold out and completely devoted to you. I pray for my fears, my insecurities, my selfish ways, my stubborn pride to flea. I pray that I am able to take EVERY thought captive and hold up to Your Word. Teach my thy ways, Oh Lord. Lead me and direct me in the right paths. Place barriers and road blocks and accountability in the ways that lead to me living in disobedience. Help me to ALWAYS see truth and the ways out of situations that cause me fall. I pray for a deep hunger and yearning for more of you in my life. I pray that my eyes will remain fixed on you. 

Help me Lord to be the man you've created me to be. I pray that I may be the husband that my wife needs. I pray that I love her, support her, lead her, encourage her in all the ways you see best. I pray that I can be the Dad to my children that they need. Help me to love them, care for them, guide them, encourage them, redirect and discipline them as you see best. 

Lead me through this day Lord and help my eyes, my mind, my heart to not be distracted!

FEELING KINDA HEAVY

 Lord, I am so thankful and grateful that you are in control of this world and that one day I will get to spend eternity with you and other believers forever!

This world is so full of evil and sinful things. I'm tired. I'm just so tired of hearing about all the sin and evil things that continual be pounded on my mind and on other people. Today, I feel so heavy. I feel weighted down by the worries of this world. Things my daughter shared with us that she has been struggling with, things that my son shared with us that he had been struggling with, my heart decided to skip a beat ever so often. I'm just tired and feel worn out. 

I need you now Lord. I feel overwhelmed and stressed. I just went to the counselor today and felt that the day was going to be great but now I feel like I just want to close my eyes and not wake up. 

You spoke through me this past Sunday and so many people heard the truth. They were complimenting me but I know that it was all from You! To You be the glory!! I pray that you will continue to change lives and hearts of people that are struggling and needing to truly know you. I pray for the power of Your truth to penetrate the heart and lives of people. 

I'm probably just being a baby about all this and whining but I just feel so tired. Lord, I need you. Restore to me the joy of salvation. Revive my heart and mind and give me the strength and energy I need to keep going. If there is something wrong with me, medically, please help my doctor to find it and help me to find some peace and rest. I'm just so tired and heavy today. Lord help me.

WITHOUT A DOUBT

There is without a doubt some things that I need to get off my chest and my heart and mind. I feel so overwhelmed that I can hardly breathe. I know I have held onto many frustrations and worries. I am not intentionally trying to hold on to them, nor do I wish to have them in my life. I just cannot seem to let go of them and I guess, give them completely over to God. I feel like I have, but if I truly have, I am not sure why they continue to return. Unless...it is like Paul and THIS is the thorn in my flesh. If this allows me to draw nearer to the Lord, I pray it stays. But I feel like this is not drawing me near to him but instead distracting me away from Him.

Why? Why do I have these things going on in my life. I just want to be free to live a life honoring the Lord without all the worldly JUNK always on my mind or in my face. Lord, I pray for answers. I need you and need your help. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally...I feel like I am a wreck. Please lead me to someone that I can talk with and get some of these suppressed feelings out of my life. 

I know that many things come from my childhood. I felt like I had an amazing childhood. However, there were some parts of it, especially the burdens from school, that caused me to struggle and struggle bad at times. 

Lead me to someone that I can talk to and share these things, Lord. I pray for someone that will help me see the truth about what I might be suppressing and free me of those things. My heart is to truly follow You. I desire to be a man of God, a husband that my wife loves and is attracted to and has confidence in, I desire to be a Dad to my children that they have everything as a Dad I should be giving them, a son and brother, a friend, a pastor. I pray for Your guiding hands to be upon me. 

For Freedom

     So...I have written in here before on struggle with TMS. Unknowingly suppressing stresses or fear or anxieties or all sorts of different things. But...occasionally I've had some flare ups with it again. I really cannot believe that this causes so many pains and struggles. To help get rid of these, it is suggested to journal or write about the things that could be causing the pains and get your mind right. I was to be free from these pains. They hold me back so much. I just ran a 5K race last weekend with my uncle and this week, every time I try to run I have severe pain in my legs. But I know that it is TMS. 

What stressors or struggles do I have. Let me see...I have SO many responsibilities and I have SO many people counting on me. I cannot do it all. I barely can have any time for myself. But then when I do, I'm pounded with lies from the enemy. 

I am responsible for...

Mondays: Every morning I'm responsible for making sure our son gets up and around. I make his breakfast and get his lunch ready too. Then I feed the cats and chickens and make sure our son is on time for school. I have be free for staff meeting and have a chapter or two from a book we all go through completed and ready for discussion.  Some Mondays I have to go to the Intermediate to teach Character Education to the students. Then, I have to be sure I'm at the school on time to pick up our son and take him home or get ready for his games. The evenings consists of homework that I'm working on to finish my Master's (3 classes this semester and 3 next to finish) OR going to my son's games.

Tuesdays: Most mornings I teach a chapel time for our preschool group. The first Tuesday of the month I lead chapel for a nearby private school in the afternoons. Again, being on time to pick up my son and then having him where he needs to be. Homework or his games for the nights. 

Wednesdays: I teach and lead our kids Wednesday night program. Making sure all 100+ kids are taken care of our 30+ volunteers are connected and has a place to serve. That's during the night time. The mornings are preparing for the nights and then afternoons I have to change vehicles with my wife so that I can have room to pick up my son and all of his friends he's bringing to church with him. Then after church at night I have to lock up and make sure everyone gets home. Go home and crash. 

Thursdays: cleanup from Wednesday and work on papers and things due for my classes. Also, I usually try to schedule lunches with other guys in our church that the Lord lays on my heart to reach out to. Then at night it's homework or take care of things around the house. 

Fridays: This is suppose to be my day off from work but that's a joke. I'm usually cleaning the house or running errands for the family or working on homework. I have tried to take the mornings for running and taking pictures of wildlife in the park. I try to find some "me" time in there for at least an hour. Friday afternoons I make sure I'm getting our son on time and then the family usually wants to go to the ballgames. 

Saturdays: I try to sleep in and get some needed rest and then spend time with the family. Lately, my Saturdays have been working on homework. 

Sundays: ALL day. wake up at 6am, get to the church to prepare for 2 services of children's church and Crosswalk class. Head home for lunch then back to the church to prepare for sign language class and the DGroup that I teach. Making sure the kids group is taken care of and have food while my groups has food too. Clean up and shut down lights and lock doors before leaving. 

Whew! I'm tired just thinking about all the million things I have to do. 

All the while doing these things, I have the jerk enemy that reminds me of so many things. He tries to tell me that I have to do all these things perfectly. I can't let anyone down. He tries to tell me that I'm not good enough. I am very insecure about certain things with my body. I struggle with thinking the worst about myself. I tend to be overwhelmed with temptations from the enemy that usually dig up things that happened to me as a child. I often wish and cannot wait for the day the Lord returns. No more sin. No more sadness or pain. No more fears or insecurities. Only Jesus. I cannot wait to spend eternity in fellowship and worship with Jesus. 

So...Lord, help me to give all of these things to you. I KNOW that apart from you I can do nothing. I know that I am nothing without you. Please help me to get rid of these things that are causing my body discomfort. Help me to do the things to remove it. Help me to do whatever is necessary to be free. I desire freedom! 

This New Chapter

Well, this week begins a new chapter in life for me and my family. My youngest is moving out into her dorm for college. My, oh my, how the time just went by so fast. How in the world did 19 years fly by SO fast. Friends and family always told me that it would be gone before we knew it. Boy were they right. Wow!
There is such a sense of joy and excitement for my daughter and then such a sense of sadness like we missed so many things that we wanted to do with our children but haven't or didn't do them. This world can be so painful. There are so many things of this world that hurt and leave me longing for what's to come. I am SO thankful that I know the Lord Jesus as my Savior. I am SO thankful that I have peace in my heart to know that my wife and children also know Him. I don't know the plans that the Lord has for me but I don't have to worry what my eternity will be like. I know, without any doubts, that I will get to spend eternity with God in heaven. Not by anything that I have done or will do, but ONLY by what Jesus did on the cross. He paid the price for me and my sins. 

I have just a couple more days before we pack up my daughter and move her in. I am so thankful for the time that we had her leaving with us. I am so thankful that God chose us to be her parents. I pray that we have prepared her well. I pray that she has learned from us all that she needed to. No, we are not the perfect parents but I pray that the most important things of this life have been instilled into her life. 

Lord, please protect her and guide her every move and action. I pray for her to enjoy her time living on campus and making new friends and getting her degree. I pray for the plans you have for her to fall into place in the right times and moments. I pray for her future spouse. Whoever the young man may be, I pray for his heart to be in tune with you and that my daughter will have to go through you to get to him. I pray he loves her and takes care of her so much. In YOUR timing, I pray that you allow him to enter into her life, that is if he isn't already in her life. 

Lord, please give her strength for each new day. Give her wisdom to accomplish the tasks you place before you. Give her the abilities to work her and do well in her classes. Help her to stand on her own knowing that you are right there with her and that her parents are always praying for her and wanting what's best for her. Lord...our faith is in you.

For our son, this will be new for him too. I bet that he is going to miss his sister. I bet that he won't show it, so please help my wife and I to be alert and attentive to his needs and recognize when he needs something. Lord, please help him to continue to mature and grow as a believer. I pray for his heart to be in tune with You. I pray for his to have a compassionate attitude and show grace and mercy to those around him. I pray for him to be the type of person that everyone wants to be around and strive to be like. I pray for him to love you with his whole heart. I pray for him to excel and do well in sports and to stay humble and give you the praise and glory for the things he completes. I pray for his future spouse. I pray that she is a kind hearted, God fearing young lady. I pray that she will be perfect for Luke and helping him to become all that you have created him to be. 

Lord, lead Julie and me to live a life that is holy and pleasing to you. I pray for Julie's heart to find joy and peace in this new chapter. I pray for her to feel your protection over Jadelyn and for her to have no fears or worries. I pray for Julie to feel strength on the days that she feels tired. I pray that she turns to You for answers as well. 

Lord...thank you for being a loving Savior. Lead us in this new chapter!